I was preparing for this one event. Life as a teenager was reckless, hopping from one party to another. Drinking far too much alcohol and smoking too much weed, or was it? There I was on the stage, as a prefect about to present my already perfected dubstep assembly, I was looking forward to it.
In front of me was a huge crowd from year 7 to year 13 of the prestigious grammar school – King Edwards Camphill School for Boys. Not knowing what to expect or what to do I proceeded to show my PowerPoint presentation. I looked and waited in anxiety as I wondered exactly what I was about to show – one of my passions of mine which was dubstep music.
Months before with my friend Reuben I researched more and more into the prospect of doing this presentation, which helped a lot as I pieced together the best dubstep music there was to offer, downloading and seeing exactly what the best was in the market at the time.
So there I started to present, the first slide, what is dubstep music and how did it come about? I proceeded to explain the rich history of this music scene which was indeed steeped in music genres of other types initially of drum & bass as well as house.
Deep down I wanted to be accepted by everyone. I did things which were strange to some to fit in. Unknowingly I was alienating those whom I wanted to become friends with and making things a lot worse for myself. Afterwards, a dubstep assembly page was created for me which unfortunately was one of the most embarrassing things I’ve ever done.
During the assembly, I enjoyed presenting the music so much that I decided when the head teacher asked me whether he could leave the stage I told him to sit down. As a result, he did but this went viral around the school showing that in fact, I was awkward and socially inept which was not good as a teenager who just wanted friends and to socialise.
However, everyone seemed to be having a good time from the front to the back and generally, people were laughing; although probably at me rather than with me and bullying once again commenced, with their sharp sarcasm and hurtful words after this hard event. I could intimately taste the after affects of their harsh words.
I was autistic, I didn’t know what to do or what to say to fit in, or what was appropriate in certain scenarios. I didn’t know how I was supposed to. This condition was gripping and a way out and a way of escape was not clear to me. So, I proceeded to walk away from this experience bewildered not exactly sure what was going on and what I needed to do to learn from my mistakes.
I remember the comments from the crowd: “How awful! Why is he telling the headteacher to sit down?”
Someone else said: “How funny! He’s totally class with this genre of music and 100% knows what he is talking about”.
Looking back now I agree that dubstep was a great music genre and one of my previous passions but unfortunately, public speaking and presenting an assembly in front of a crowd of people proved to be the bane of my existence.
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